The Epic Quest
by Fairy Pixie Stardust
Summary: *Slash* After three years of no contact whatsoever, Kyle suddenly begins to show a friendlier side of himself. Of course, this awakens new feelings in Stan-- so now he must embark on an epic quest to not be gay. Which is hard. Really hard. *Stan/Kyle*


**Chapter 1: Of Break-Ups and Cheesecake**

-o0o-

Our break-up in seventh grade came as a shock to everyone. Girls clumped together in the hallways before school, staring at us and whispering things they thought they knew. I guess it _had_ to be a shock. We always did everything together, from eating to discovering a prehistoric ice-man. There had never been a moment when they had seen us apart. Even our parents knew that our friendship was especially strong and specifically asked the school every year if we could be in the same classes. They knew it too, and agreed.

To this day, I still don't know what had caused it. It seemed so natural, yet unnatural. I don't even remember the fight. All I remember is that the morning after, he wouldn't talk to me. And I didn't talk to him. We slowly fell apart-- us, who had always fit together like adjoining pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Our phone calls to each other ceased. Our passing notes to each other in class stopped. Visits to each other's house halted. A month later, even our teachers were audibly wondering what had happened to us. Yet we still didn't talk.

Slowly, the public interest in our break-up began decreasing. Four months after the break-up, no one was talking about it anymore. They just seemed to take it as a fact of life. It was scary, seeing them casually greet us _separately_.

But I got used to it, with Kenny's help.

So of course it had to be a shock when Kyle Broflovski talked to me again. Talked to _me _again. After nearly three years.

It was a little past the midterms in tenth grade. I had just come in the door of the little coffee shop and ordered a slice of their magnificent chocolate cheesecake and their best coffee at the counter when a tinkling sound signalled everyone that a new being had arrived. I swear I felt the atmosphere change a little bit right then. A slender body positioned itself next to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could tell that the person was wearing bright orange and neon green.

There was only one person in all of South Park who dressed like that... "Triple chocolate swirl cheesecake and World's Best Coffee, please," Kyle said.

"Coming right up, sir!" responded the cheery blonde girl at the cash register. I gulped. He had placed the same exact order as me.

Right then, another employee marched up to me, said in a slightly nasal voice- "Here is your order, sir," placed a small package in my open hands, and strode distastefully away from me. I looked at it. The color was creamy white, cool and smooth on my hands. The unmistakable aroma of triple chocolate swirl cheesecake wafted up to my nose through the cracks in the packaging.

Having walked to the appropriate area, I picked out a fork with a slightly bent prong from the cup labeled FORKS, then sat at an impeccably clean table next to a window. I liked to people-watch sometimes, a habit I had grown attached to in the eighth grade.

I looked back at the counter. It was most definitely Kyle. My ears and eyes hadn't lied. His bright red hair and the green ushanka capping it was, to say the least, unique. No one else could ever pull it off as well as Kyle.

He had received his order and was walking toward the opposite side of the cozy little eating area when he glanced at me.

So those green eyes _are _the same, I thought. But the eye contact was promptly broken. Sighing, I opened up the box and poked at the cheesecake with my fork. It sprang back a little. I looked up again. Kyle had settled comfortably in a green seat, and was sipping his coffee.

It was always so frustrating. All the time, he was so close. Yet he was so far. ... Sounds cliche, I know. What can I do? It's true...

But I didn't want to stare at him and keep sighing to myself like a fool, so I dug into my order and shoved a piece into my mouth.

Heavenly, as always.

While I was eating, an uncomfortable feeling kept pestering me. I knew what it was. How could I _ever _forget my super best friend's gaze? Even though I didn't want it to, my heartbeat just kept getting faster. He hadn't even so much as _looked _at me in _ages_, let alone stare at me for more than three minutes. But I kept shoving the dessert into my mouth.

I was comfortable if not happy with him not paying me any attention. But this made me feel uncomfortable, and even got my hopes up a little.

All in vain.

When I finished, I headed toward the disposal section. I dumped my trash in the bin and was walking out the door when something grabbed my shoulder.

I'd know that grab _anywhere. _"Hey," I said, sounding a hundred times braver than I felt.

"Hey," Kyle replied. I still hadn't looked at him, but I could feel him hesitate a little. "Stan."

I hadn't heard that name spoken by his voice in nearly three years. Needless to say, it made me even more nervous. I even daresay my knees were shaking a little.

Stan the man, made weak just by his former super best friend saying his name. Even if it was the first time in three years. I forced out my line painfully. "Hi."

"Um," he said. "Want to come by my house today?"

What? _What_? He ignores me for _three _years, then invites me over one day as if nothing had _happened_? Screw eleven years of super best friendship! I want to punch his face in!

I continued to stare at him, flabbergasted. Probably sensing my shock, he quickly added to his words.

"I mean, there's a celebration... at eight..." he looked at me, as if for approval.

"... Okay," I said.

"For... um, getting a perfect score on the midterms."

I tried to smile. I really did, especially since he was looking more and more nervous by the minute. But it reminded me how much not being around him had affected me. Me and my grade on the midterms. "I know there won't be a celebration for _me_," I said jokingly.

He didn't take it too lightly. I think he may have thought my comment was serious. "Sorry," he said sincerely. "But please come, will you?"

How could I have possibly refused that? Of course I said yes.

Once out of the cozy little coffee shop, he walked at a brisk pace in the direction of school. Maybe he'd forgotten something; school had only let out an hour earlier. But I didn't give much thought to that.

Something else, quite capable of destruction, was on my mind.

-o0o-

I shivered even in my thick coat. The cold was attacking me right to the bones, and I wasn't sure if I could stand it for very long. Fortunately, Kyle's house appeared looming over me before I expected it to show up.

It seems that only once I had climbed the few steps and was on his doorstep, my finger poised to press the dull red button so familiar to me, I thought about the day's events. It all seemed so crazy and surreal. My former super best friend inviting me to a celebration. When he hadn't talked to me for three years. But what seemed even more crazy and surreal than that fact was the truth that I was here. On his doorstep. I hadn't even told Kenny.

I pressed the button and a bell promptly rang inside the house. I didn't wait for very long. Sheila Broflovski in all her glory was standing in front of me. As soon as her eyes focused on mine, she dropped the spoon she was holding. "Stan!" she said, almost yelping.

"Hi, Mrs. Broflovski," I said.

After having picked up her wooden spoon in a hurry, she turned toward me in a state of obvious glee. I'm sure I was gaping. There had been very few times in my life I had seen her like that. "Oh," she said, "Kyle didn't tell me you were coming, Stan!"

"Uh..."

"Come inside!" she said as she ushered me in. Pulling out a chair in the kitchen, she told me to sit. "Kyle will be down shortly."

Sheila made small conversation with me the whole time until the first guest of the night rang the door bell. Apologizing to me, she opened the door. A small crowd of my classmates from school rushed in promptly, most turning around briefly to greet me.

Perhaps signalled by the general ruckus they created, Kyle came racing down the stairs right then.

It was all pretty confusing and loud, so maybe Kyle didn't see me. Maybe that was the reason he didn't come straight for me.

But that got pretty hard to believe when he glanced at me and then just started talking to his other friends.

Five minutes later, I was conversing about school with some cute brunette girl who was in my English class and was always checking me out. About two minutes later, her friend came to her side and whispered something in her ear, occassionally looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

I wanted to shout out, 'you know-- guys aren't _totally _incompetent, like you make us out to be!' But female opinion of us, unfortunately, will probably never change. I sighed. Right on cue, the girl who was crushing on me started giggling strangely. Most times, I would flirt back, but I didn't feel like it that day. I was probably still shocked from Kyle's speaking to me.

I looked at her as if she were a bizarre anomaly. She giggled even louder.

I should've remembered that girls _never _noticed when I did that.

"Uh," I said, "I need a drink..." I stood up and almost ran in the direction of the kitchen.

Looking back, I noticed that the girl had a confused and almost tearful look on her face. I didn't care.

I know, I'm a heartless bastard.

What can I do?

The drinks were green, a light lime green the color of Kyle's hat. Once I had spooned it up and poured it in a rather small plastic cup, I drank it in one go. Lime flavor. Of course.

And I think it was right then that things started going wrong. The sound of Sheila Broflovski's high voice from the living room came traveling all the way to me. "Kyle's friends!" she yelled. How bizzare for her to refer to us like that...

Everyone looked in her direction. Wearing a satisfied expression, she yelled even louder. "Gerald and I," she said, pointing at her husband, "will be out until eleven! We've got to have our own fun!" People mostly cheered. "You kids have fun!" Then, with Gerald Broflovski at her side, she went out and closed the door, making the frame shake a bit.

She trusted Kyle _way_ too much.

Cheers, shouts, and yells a hundred thousand times louder than the one before erupted, that's right-- erupted-- from the living room. Hell, I was probably a hundred feet from there, and it still pierced my ears rudely. I sat down, contemplating how slowly time was going to pass until eleven.

Very slowly.

I think that was when I fell asleep, thinking about how slowly time was passing.

-o0o-

**A/N: So Kyle's mom leaves the 'celebration'! Stan falls asleep! Kyle seems to not care about him!**

**Excitement builds!!!**

**Review, please! I'm open to anything and everything, including plot suggestions (hint, hint) and criticism!**

**... Why does Stan seem so girly to me? I'll fix that... later.**


End file.
